Once upon a midnight dreary
I’m Still Searching

The weight of the day lay heavy
upon my fragile shoulders, bones
creaking, moaning whispers of pain
and agony to my weary mind, begging
for liquor to lull my body into a deep sleep.

It was a day that began as any other,
where I rose before the sun, and the
breeze brought frost and tears to my eyes.
And maybe it was the frost, but there was
something in the air that was different today,
and I knew what it was, except the words to
define it escaped my trembling, frigid lips.

It was one of those moments, where you walk
into a room and immediately forget why you
made the journey in the first place, so you
retrace your steps, only to be left with this
feeling of loss, struggling to remember
a purpose for walking, and you attempt to
trick your mind, telling yourself to forget it,
but it’s all you can focus on for hours.

It’s as if I’m trying to remember someone
that I have not met yet, creating this image
of perfection in my mind, anything to erase
any painful remaining thoughts of you.
A distant feeling of loss, where there is
nothing missing, and I try to reach out and
grab onto the memories that seem to dissipate
and turn into smoke, escaping my ears,
but they slip away through the cracks
in my hands, where your fingers once fit
oh so perfectly.

So here I am, with the weight of the day
and the growing emptiness inside of my
chest, searching for something I can not recall
as I trace the letters you wrote on these
tattered and old Valentines Day cards.