The weight of the day lay heavy
upon my fragile shoulders, bones
creaking, moaning whispers of pain
and agony to my weary mind, begging
for liquor to lull my body into a deep sleep.
It was a day that began as any other,
where I rose before the sun, and the
breeze brought frost and tears to my eyes.
And maybe it was the frost, but there was
something in the air that was different today,
and I knew what it was, except the words to
define it escaped my trembling, frigid lips.
It was one of those moments, where you walk
into a room and immediately forget why you
made the journey in the first place, so you
retrace your steps, only to be left with this
feeling of loss, struggling to remember
a purpose for walking, and you attempt to
trick your mind, telling yourself to forget it,
but it’s all you can focus on for hours.
It’s as if I’m trying to remember someone
that I have not met yet, creating this image
of perfection in my mind, anything to erase
any painful remaining thoughts of you.
A distant feeling of loss, where there is
nothing missing, and I try to reach out and
grab onto the memories that seem to dissipate
and turn into smoke, escaping my ears,
but they slip away through the cracks
in my hands, where your fingers once fit
oh so perfectly.
So here I am, with the weight of the day
and the growing emptiness inside of my
chest, searching for something I can not recall
as I trace the letters you wrote on these
tattered and old Valentines Day cards.
The weight of the day lay heavy
I have transformed you see,
into nothing short of being
considered a beautiful mystery.
I once resided, trapped within the
weak and wounded, the yellow
belly of fear, oh how terrified
I had become, hiding in the
shadows of my fragile mind.
But while I was trembling in
the dark corners, teeth chattering
and fingers shaking, I wondered,
what happened to all the dreamers?
Where did all the free thinkers, the
the lovers, where have they ran to?
Maybe I ask too many questions,
and perhaps it’s wrong for me to
dream in the brightest of colors, but
life is far too short to wake up with
regrets, fears, and malice in my heart.
I believe in fairy dust,
in happy endings, and even
love at first sight.
I trust that there is more out there,
mystery, magic, and something I
can’t quite put my finger on, but
somehow, I know I can’t give up
on my adventure to find what it is.
I refuse to hide in the shadows, or
wake up scared of taking chances on living.
No one said it would be easy but deep down,
I know it will be worth it in the end
to live without any regrets.
I sat in the shadows
and turned on those slow
songs we used to dance to,
the songs without words
so we could always create our
own lovers melody, and change
it whenever we saw fit.
I laid on the warm, oak paneled
floor, rested my head, let the
soft music fill the room, and
of course, I thought of you.
Our love had become something
fragile, so we handled it with care,
but over time we grew lazy, took risks
and the love between us slowly crumbled,
leaving us with an emptiness that in a way,
we had created without ever realizing.
And sure enough,
you left shortly after that,
the soft thud of the door closing
behind you, bumping your bags
hanging from your shoulders,
that deafening slam was the
last moment we shared together.
How tragically distant we had become
after all those years of kissing in the rain,
curling up together on the couch,
and falling asleep to the colors in your eyes.
And now I’m left only with
the darkness, a house that we had
once made into a home, and our
favorite songs that I can’t seem to turn off.