Once upon a midnight dreary

He was something unattainable,
like the concept of beauty or perfection,
you tried to hold it, embrace it, but
somehow his skin was made of smoke,
and each time I tried to hold him tightly
in my hands, he slipped through the
spaces between my fingers.

And all the girls spoke of him,
as if he was a mystery hiding
behind those autumn colored bangs
that cascaded over his gentle emerald eyes.
I said he was an anomaly, though
they didn’t understand what I meant.

The thought of him opening his chest
and exposing that heart of his, well,
that was unheard of.
Until he met me.

I challenged him, never falling for
those sweet words that were like a
record on repeat, no, he knew that
I was different from those other girls.
The flowers, kisses on the cheek, and
songs sung over worn strings worked
on other girls, but I made him search deeper.

Deep down into his soul, he searched
for words that he wanted to whisper,
not the words he imagined I wanted to hear.
He spoke from his heart, which I found out
was tired, injured, but beating sweet rhythms
just to continue searching for the most perfect
words imaginable, that would be worthy
of gracing my ears.

He became more of a solid entity,
while he stood there holding my face
in his warm and calloused palms,
whispering, warming my heart with such
genuine and gentle words,
"Please, don’t give up on me."

I remember the night

The sun has retired, the sky
is bleeding shades of blue
the moon shines for me
as I used to shine for you

This is how I’ll remember the moon
the shade hanging in the night
the trees whisper to each other,
how I imagine my lover’s
touch must seem so delicate.
The warmth of an embrace
the dreams of tomorrow
and what they will bring
still gripping the past
burning the memories.
You were no more important than the last,
and this is how I will remember you.

The night unfolds, here
birds sing their songs of silence
to me, and become frozen air.

Unforgivable Flames

Tonight I watched the fire,
that terrifying, beautiful flame
danced for hours.
It cracked and howled as the
amber and yellow ribbons
consumed another log in
it’s sparkling embrace.

It has a mind of it’s own,
no compassion for possession,
no knowledge of boundaries.
It would run rampant, tearing
across the land, the
ultimate destroyer.

And when it has consumed
it all, including you and me,
it will stand alone,
still howling and dancing
to the sweet melody of the breeze.
Until the air is still, and
there is nothing left, it will
begin to die, flickering,
struggling to move and
ruin more.

But in the end, everything
is at last alone, even the
fire that you admire so.

Embrace Me

I embrace the storm
raging deep within these
bones, soaked in whiskey
and angst. I grab hold of
the concept of beauty and
pain in each moment.
I invite the chaos all around,
somehow it astonishes
my mind, and my tired heart.

I sing to the empty bottles
kiss the dried filters
until my throat runs dry.
I think of you when I
look towards the barren sky.

This is What I’m Good At

I’ve been told we are all
good at something, a way of
being unique, a specialty,
if you will call it.
I’m good at a lot of things.

I’m good at embracing the
chaos in life, allowing it, inviting
it to astonish me.
Good at having men want me,
not to date or marry me,
but to lust and chase my
sense of sex appeal and my body.
Good at drinking whiskey
taking long burning gulps
until my inhibitions are cloudy.
Good at taking short breaths
from ripped, tar filled lungs.

I’m good at pretending that
I don’t hurt, convincing people
with my cold words,
and hash expressions
of how my heart has retired,
that I no longer feel. 

I’m good at fooling people,
but when I’m all alone in
this yellow room, the love
and creativity being choked
from my breath, I realize
I can lie to everyone else,
but not myself.